Secrets of Playboy & Repressed Trauma
“Secrets of Playboy” was a docuseries that came out in 2022 on A&E. There are two seasons out now, but I truthfully only watched the first season. I watched season one shortly after I watched another docuseries on Amazon called “American Playboy.” The Amazon show consisted of clips, interviews and reenactments. The Amazon show focused on Hugh Hefner around the time he started the magazine and championed him as an industry disrupter - but also as a defender of civil liberties, free speech, and sexual freedom. I found that a little odd, as I am someone plugged into the American freedom movement, and I have never heard him mentioned as one of the great modern defenders of freedom that I should know. That curiosity for a more accurate view of Hefner is what led me to watch the second docuseries.
“Secrets of Playboy” is to adult magazines what “Surviving R. Kelly” is to R&B music. That is, exposing both Hugh Hefner and R. Kelly for the predators that they were. It’s truly a shame that the truth about Hefner only got mainstream attention after his passing in 2017. It probably comes as no surprise to my readers, but what was sold as “adult Disneyland” and something empowering for women, was nothing of the sort. In reality, Hugh was a cult-like leader that was left unchecked and propped up by a steady network of other men (Bill Cosby, for one). It wasn’t just models in a magazine or one famous mansion, it was an entire network of clubs and secret houses and drugs that kept a steady stream of girls at the men’s fingertips. Not to mention Hefner’s use of surveillance and food to control the girls’ self-esteem once they were in his orbit.
Early on in the heyday of the mansion there were reports of rape, a suspicious death or two, and even a suicide. There was clearly something untoward going on, and it was all covered up by a marketing ploy. In a CNN article from 2022, reporter Brian Lowry says “Perhaps Hefner’s most formidable skill centered on the image and libertarian ideal he marketed, which obscured abusive and manipulative actions toward women who saw Playboy as a path to fame and success.” As someone who genuinely believes in freedom, libertarian ideals, and women’s empowerment - this really pisses me off. True women’s freedom does not keep women in a hierarchy below a man. True women’s freedom (and their sexual freedom) puts women in control. Control to say yes, control to say no, control to change things that do not serve her, and control to speak up when something isn’t right. For anyone duped into that thinking anything else is what women’s freedom is, I am sorry. For those who pervert ideals I deeply care about, may you rot in hell.
I nearly made it through the entire first season without being triggered, but then in the final episodes they had a psychologist on site to talk with former playmates about their repressed trauma. They all had some form of it that kept them in quiet for so long. The psychologist said repressing trauma is our brain’s #1 defense mechanism. Our brain literally pushes down painful memories until we are strong enough to deal with them and/or do the work to recall them. First, let’s pause and reflect on how amazing that is. Our bodies get us through so much and deserve a little more credit!
Second, I get it. Repressed trauma sounds a little out there. I might not have fully believed in it either if I didn’t experience it myself. One day I was just casually sitting at brunch with friends when the topic of our first time came up. As I was telling what I remembered, we all collectively realized that something with that memory didn’t seem right. I quickly got into a session with my therapist and we were able to recall what really happened. Teenage me would not have know what to do with the truth, but adult me could make a plan for processing and healing in a way that didn’t ruin my entire life. I would like to sincerely ask of anyone reading this that if someone comes to you with a repressed memory, whether it was days, weeks, or years ago, please hear them out and handle with care. If you have gaps in some of your memories, it might be worth unpacking those with a professional, just in case. 💜
-Olivia
