My thoughts on Esther and If:Gathering 2023
Every year my church starts “21 Days of Prayer” on January 1st. We do this two times a year, with the other one being in preparation for Easter. I’ve always found this to be an enlightening time. In the past I’ve felt called to fast from foods that do not serve my body well, alcohol, even hobbies that distract me from the Lord. This year I felt a pull to read a book of the bible specifically named after a woman. I prayed on it a little longer and finally felt pointed towards Esther.
I read a couple of chapters a day and took notes along the way of the major moments that stood out to me. I have to admit that at the end of the project, I was not exactly pleased. After my first read through my question was: why was Mordecai (Esther’s male cousin) honored and given authority and immortalized in history when it was in fact Esther that convinced the King to spare the Jews? I had to really dive in and seek further understanding on this.
After reading Esther several more times, seeking out other commentary on it, chatting with trusted friends, and spending time in prayer - I was finally able to come to a clearer conclusion. First, I know exactly why the Lord pulled me to this chapter. The story goes that Esther is asked to do this big scary thing and her reply is, “ok whoa. give me three days so that I can fast and pray on this.” Obviously that emphasis is my own, but she goes on to say, “when that is done I will go to the King and if I perish, I perish.” She shows such wisdom and bravery in this moment.
How many times is our initial reaction to something that makes us uncomfortable completely brash? How many times could we use a 3 day (or even a 3 hour or 3 minute) pause before reacting? My lessons from Esther are to never underestimate the power of a prayerful pause and not to be so quick to react that I forget the stakes. That is another big takeaway for me: the stakes. I so resonate with the way Esther was separated from her heritage and meant to conceal her culture. I know what it’s like to have a seat at the table and be expected to speak out on behalf of an entire minority group. I know the pressure that puts on someone and I know the risk that someone takes speaking out for people who are not in the room.
At the end of the day we are all put in a unique position. Those positions come with equal amounts of responsibility and risk. It’s the risk part that many do not act on. If you are feeling called to a certain risk, I encourage you to dive into your bible, into some prayer, and talk with trusted friends on what it looks like to obediently take those risks laid out before you. Consider who might have put those risks out for you to take and remember that the Lord has “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” Jeremiah 29:11. Be brave, friend!
A couple months after spending time in Esther I attended the annual If:Gathering women’s conference. I have attended every year since about 2017 and I look to this conference to be my “spiritual new year.” I spend the time soaking up the speaker’s sermons and praying for what vision the Lord wants me to catch for the next year. This year the conference was focused on Psalm 23. I am sure that many Christians are fond of this verse and I am no different. It’s always guided me. It guided me to the farm (greener pastures) and even in writing my book (paths of righteousness for his namesake). One of my favorite speakers Bianca Olthoff pointed out that Psalm 23 is not meant to be a song for the dead but rather an anthem for living! Amen Bianca!
Other speaker’s snippets that resonated with me this year were:
A vacation won’t fix burnout, you need rest for your soul! (J.M. Comer)
Earthly leaders are ultimately also sheep. (J.M. Comer)
God walks with us but not for us. (J. Edwards)
Our expectations are not the same as God’s promises. (S. Huff)
God is not a disappointed father. (J. Allen)
If God doesn’t show don’t let it be because you aren’t ready. (J. Allen)
Jesus came to make friends and to free them! (H. Wong)
You can’t save a world but skip knowing it. (H. Wong)
Your greatest witness is your with-ness. (H. Wong)
Faith is not a personality type. (C. Caine)
It’s time to paddle, don’t miss the wave! (L. Lefevere)
At the end of the event, Jennie challenged us with the following questions:
What am I leaving behind?
What am I moving towards?
My responses were: I am leaving behind doubt and I am moving towards security. What about you? I’d love to hear your responses to the questions above and/or if any of those speaker’s quotes spoke to you. Shoot me a DM on Instagram!
At the conference I attended Hosanna Wong’s break out and I recently bought her book, “How Not To Save The World” and will be reading it soon. If you would like to read alongside with me join my Women’s Bible Study Facebook group.
Lastly, a huge heartfelt thanks to my friend Lynette and her church, Wichita South Seventh Day Adventist, for hosting us for If:Gathering this year. It was beautifully done and I would happily return next year!
XO - Olivia
